Granddawgs

Stashed deep in the root cellar of the old plantation were these black and white pictures of Denver and Molly's GREAT GRANDDAWG PARENTS! I cleaned them up and managed to get them into the blog. Now my expansive technology showed me the ancestors were on point, watching a band of Native American Savages as they came screaming into the fort. Sorry, couldn't get all of that into the frame so just take my word for it. Still, what a HISTORIC picture this is!

This morning I was the invited guest of Southern Roots Radio, 1180 and 1120. Kids they played THREE different renditions of DIXIE and lord help did it do me proud to be there as it belched into the vast morning air!


We talked bout all things conservative and I even got to crack on the local TV stations news
kids. My big female dawg (that's bitch for you southern Baptists) was that all three of our stations are much better than most we watch when we are sequestered in a Motel 4 the night of the Daytona 500. The key is overall leadership and right now locally only WBIR has the foundation that is needed to kick major donkey in the over nights. Sorry, 6 is working on it but not getting there and 8 has one hell of a team of talent but their News Director is just a lost damn lamb!

That said, let me ask you this..and yes you can respond by clicking the comment doober at the end of this thing...DON'T you thing for an UGLY OLD MAN, I have some dang beautiful dawgs?

PC NOTE!

Important Political Correctness AnnouncementNOTE:


Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

column is now on line!

The new column is now on line and if you would like to read it just dash over to hallsnews.com and click on my name. THANKS!

The HAT

OK, here is the story. My mom swims twice a week and this week they sent out a directive for all swimmers to wear a red hat. Because valentines day is near they said it was in celebration of said day. Mom told me I once told her this was the most ugly hat I had ever seen, I corrected her and said it was certainly in the top 5 but not number 1. I added that her addition of the small stuffed bear gave it just enough personality to move it out of the ugly range and into the fun category. Course after I picked her up from swimming she said they wanted the red hats worn NEXT week, she still said she got more than a few compliments on it! PS She will be 90 on the 18th of Feb.

Good night West Wing, Commander and Chief and BOOK OF DANIEL

If you are a west coast liberal living in a home covered with pictures of Babs and Momma T I can feel your pain. Network television has dumped three of your favorites and has yet to add something even close to their stature as replacements. Good old West Wing, where a sawed off Democrat ruled the free world and solved everything from nuclear war to socialized medicine in less than fifty minutes is now toast. Commander in Whatever, the big move to get Hilla elected has been kicked under the bus and the Book Of Daniel never made it to the quarter poll. Bless your heart, even Brokebutt Mountain can't win in the pregame award race, it is a dark time for you and again we all feel your pain. The upside is very soon everyone will be watching downloaded TV programming on their I PODS and few if any network shows will be needed!

LETS EAT OUT!

A couple go to dinner at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation. "Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?" The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise." Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck"

Denver LOVES CHUCK NORRIS!

Denver LOVES Chuck Norris! Here are just a few of the reasons why!

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his arse kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen. Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes. You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you. Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany. When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage. Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain. Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sex, and football-- in that order. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'." Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Column has yet to make it the the web page

Normally you can find my media column at hallsnews.com but this week they have yet to up
date the sucker?

Here it be for those who read it on line.

Just when you thought all the fun was happening in the local television tent, local radio jumps in with both feet. Last week it was reported that a caller to the Hal Hill show caused the station to throw the dead bolts when said caller reportedly threatened to shoot a member of the Hal Hill morning team. Friends, having been there and stolen the T shirt I can tell you callers saying they want to do you bodily harm is nothing new. I talked to a broadcaster just a few weeks ago who told me when his station interrupted a stupid football game to report a life threatening news event he got an e mail saying if the writer knew where he lived he would get in is truck and drive over to personally kick his donkey for cutting into the game.
So when you are doing a TALK SHOW, you want them to talk and often when they don't agree with your agenda they get hot under the collar, it just happens. The report added that the cause of the lock down was that the caller was upset by a comment made by Dave Foulk when he referred to an elderly man as a Q-tip. It added this caused the caller to threaten to get a gun and shoot Foulk. I have NO idea what a Q-tip is in the giant book of insults but apparently it is something very strong! Anyway the folks at News Talk 100 WNOX, justified going to the mattresses by saying things were all different now. Morning fellow, Hal Hill was quoted as saying post 9-11 and post Columbine causes many business to take it very seriously when someone working there is threatened with death. No arrests have been made at press time and reports are the front door of the station was unlocked later that day.

What made it all worth the ink was when the other talk station issued their thoughts on security. The guys at Southern Roots Radio (1180 and 1120 AM) issued a list of ways their situation in times of crisis differs from WNOX.
"Top Ten Ways We're Different from WNOX"
"10. It's rare when we go a day without a threat from the Chamber-I mean-listeners.
9. WNOX has a panic room with high tech surveillance equipment. We have a pop-up camper with a Polaroid One Step.
8. When WNOX gets a threat, they notify their security team who immediately turns on their computer controlled electronic state of the art security system. When we get a threat, we slide a straight chair under the doorknob.
7. Their security guard: "The Terminator". Our security guard: "Barney Fife".
6. Before any lockdown, we send out for fried chicken.
5. They frisk all visitors to the building. Us: Kelvin waves over cars asking to be frisked.
4. During lockdown at WNOX, George Korda is safely secured in the WNOX compound. We pretend nobody's home when Korda knocks on the door.
3. WNOX is warm and fuzzy. Southern Roots Radio? Who's gonna mess with a station who has Mike Holloway AND Marshal Andy.
2. They have at least half a dozen highly trained guard dogs. Us: Robert Bratton.
1. If there is a threat, instead of a Lockdown, we Lock and Load."

The truth is the gang at 1180 and 1120 should figure out a way to put we bring them back, into their title. Last week they added Mr. Waffle House himself, Marshal Andy to their line up. The Marshal has been a favorite for decades on local public TV, with his western band and on more than a few radio and TV commercials. Long time radio personality Eddy Roy said his new show is going to be a blend of all of his talents. "Marshal Andy and I will be co-hosting "Eddy Arnold - After All These Years" every Wednesday from 4-5 p.m. on 1180 WVLZ Knoxville and 1120 WKCE. We'll play old and new Eddy tunes (he's the only artist in history to chart in 7 consecutive decades), other featured artists including "The Knoxville Cowboy", Marshal Andy and the Riders of the Silver Screen Band, plus Tennessee, Andy Griffith and Big Band Trivia for prizes in addition to lots of our rapier wit."

Up on the ridge last week a long time morning guy packed his box and headed to the parking lot. TK, the morning talent on B 97 for more than a few years is no longer working for South Central, according to a suit. They would not elaborate on his exit, just added they never talk about former employees. Ashley will be moving into the chair according to their website.

This week (1-26-06) the fall Arbitron will be released. If you want to glance at the trends and get an early look at where the local radio stations may land check out radioandrecords.com. Just remember the only rating information published there is the cradle to the grave numbers. Today most buyers want to see the demographics of a station and gravitate to very specific age groups. It looks like at least a few of the stations that flopped formats and frequencies are still not performing according to the trends. Those who did the flopping will tell you this book isn't a full representation of their new changes and they are right.

I wanta come back as this dawg!

First, no human pulled this big orange throw over this dang dog. So OFTEN humans will see a dawg kicked back and think, HERE LET ME HELP, then they put a blanket over the thing and grab a camera; and you wonder why they puke in your shoe now and then!

Now, here is the deal. I think it is the Buddhists or it could be some odd ball group of Baptists living way back in the hills, anyway one of those religious tribes think when you assume room temperature you return as either another person or a dang critter! If it is true, then I wanta return as a dawg that has it half as good as this one!

The one you are looking at gets better health care than I do, better attention, and has much more freedom than me. Look at those eyes! Yep, they are saying, I can scoot by butt on your rug, bark at 4 in the morning two and a half times for water or food and get it and be admired and praised for just dang sleeping!

MAN RULES

MAN RULES
1) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2) It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. c) After wrecking your boss' car. d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". e) When she is using her teeth.
3) Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5) If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
6) Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7) No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
8) On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9) When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who is playing.
10) You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11) It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.
12) Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13) Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14) Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15) If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16) Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17) A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19) If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 20) Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21) Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22) Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing; i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23) Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24) The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken, monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25) It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26) Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27) The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28) There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

Laws

This is a BIG BOY BANK, got it from El Todd years ago for my birthday and now it watches me while I write. Yea, the eyes DO follow you around the room.

Check out these "laws"

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (Isn't this the truth?)

Fire, Denver goes, Denver returns, WE WIN!

FIRST, a nice fire was laid, or built if you are a Southern Baptist
SECOND, Denver went to pee
Third, Denver came back in
Fourth, Pearl shook the man's hand as we all watched the big score flashing!

UT, a bottom feeder just knocked off the number two team in the US of A! Da Vols are the real deal!

RADIO FUN!

This week a local radio talk show got side
ways with a caller! Here is the official report from an OFFICIAL TV stations web site!

January 19, 2006KNOXVILLE (WATE) -- A caller to Knoxville's NewsTalk 100 WNOX sent the station into lockdown mode Thursday morning when he made an on air threat to shoot an anchor. The caller, upset by a comment made by news anchor Dave Foulk when hereferred to an elderly man as a Q-tip, threatened to get a gun and shoot Foulk.That forced the station into lockdown. "You want to come over here and ransack my place, call in the cops, arrest me, you know? Is that what'sgoing to happen?" the caller asked after his threat. While he later apologized, morning host Hallerin Hill explained to the caller on air why the station was taking the threat seriously. "Post 9/11, post Columbine, post any number of events in the United Statesof America, any business and organization takes very seriously anybody who calls them and uses such phrases like 'I'll kill you' or 'I'll put a bullet in you,'" Hill said. WNOX decided not to let employees talk to 6 News on camera but Dave Foulksaid on the air this incident definitely change the way he and his family goabout their business for a while.

HERE is where it gets to be FUN! Another local talk station (truth is there are two of them but they run the same programming) came up some thoughts about their security!


Southern Roots RadioWVLZ / WKCETop Ten Ways We're Different from WNOX-From our home office in Vonore and with apologies to David Letterman-

10. It's rare when we go a day without a threat from the Chamber-I mean-listeners.
9. WNOX has a panic room with high tech surveillance equipment. We have a pop-up camper with a Polaroid One Step.
8. When WNOX gets a threat, they notify their security team who immediately turns on their computer controlled electronic state of the art security system. When we get a threat, we slide a straight chair under the doorknob.
7. Their security guard: "The Terminator". Our security guard: "Barney Fife".
6. Before any lockdown, we send out for fried chicken.
5. They frisk all visitors to the building. Us: Kelvin waves over cars asking to be frisked.
4. During lockdown at WNOX, George Korda is safely secured in the WNOX compound. We pretend nobody's home when Korda knocks on the door.
3. WNOX is warm and fuzzy. Southern Roots Radio? Who's gonna mess with a station who has Mike Holloway AND Marshal Andy.
2. They have at least half a dozen highly trained guard dogs. Us: Robert Bratton.
1. If there is a threat, instead of a Lockdown, we Lock and Load.

You talken to ME?

When the sun goes down and the cold swamp gas crawls up through the grass my Rare North American Black Dog gets a strange look in her eyes and her bark sounds like she would wack anyone who tried to cross her line of death on the top step!

The story that will not go away!

Being a local MEDIA MAVIN and a writer of a column covering such pap I flat can't get over how the BOOK OF DANIEL keeps adding to its shelf life!
The highest numbers for the show in the entire UNITED STATES OF AMERICA were in Knoxville, Tennessee. The rest of the states gave it a half donkey welcome according to the numbers. As for the second week, from all indications it fell of the earth and it is now moving toward that big bucket filled with shows that tried and died.

This week in my column I talked about a very nasty little web site that is floating around aimed at scaring all who might buy an advertisement not only on the show but on the station that RUNS it!
I didn't give the address of the site and won't here, reason is Daniel is in the lions den of ratings and is about to loose this time around.

The big question is why do folks feel "moved" to pull out the long knives whenever their particular thoughts or ethics are looked at throughout a jaundice (man do I love that word) eye? Get over it kids, aim your energy on helping your flock to be more understanding, lifting up those who need it and tempering those who are in charge.

By the way, if you want to read the column it is on line at hallsnews.com under the name of some dweeb called walker johnson? Not a clue where that pen name came from, but if you dash over and read it you are more than welcome to comment here or to the paper.

Right now I think this bad boy is on life support and if we will all just relax and take an X lax (had a Jr. High basketball coach who said that every dang time a game was close) we will be just fine!

Tonight it might happen again?

They say there is a storm in Nashville and it will be crossing the state all afternoon. They also say after it gets here the rain will be snow and the mountains could get slicker than a used car dealer on a Friday afternoon.

Right now it is a freezing 58 in the Rockford suburbs and 57 at the library. Sounds like a blizzard to me!

Letter to Denver and Molly

Dear Dog & Cat...
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object.Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.(That's why they call it "fur"nature.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son / daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

TREE RAT!

OK, so the folks in the rental house SAID they could hear scratching around up stairs. Hey it is an old house and I said it had to be a ghost, but NO!

After John England when over and put peanut butter in his trap we found this. ROCKY BUSTED!

Read up on the critter and those in the know said to transport him at least 10 miles away or he will be back. John was headed to the county line at dark with him, we shall see if he is back in the morning!

THANKS for the Book of D thoughts!

I told the next door dog that folks were sitting up and taking notice of the Book Of Daniel (NBC new show last week) and she said "LIKE THIS?"

I just checked with the local NBC station and they said the numbers showed it winning big in its time slot. Can it hold up this week without all the hype? Who knows, have to hang out and see. I think Surface is a better show, although the giant lizards scare my mother.

Course living in East Tennessee the real excitement is the return of the Beverly Hillbillies! Yep, WBIR has dumped I Love Lucy at noon thirty and replaced it with JED!! Purists will be excited to know these are the early black and whites where they still were trying to figure out the music in the walls. Whenever I am home around noon I try to catch it and it just makes my day. Yea, I know,don't take much to make my day!

IF you are a web radio person try wholewheatradio.com out of Alaska. TONS of great folk/acoustic music all presented by a group of hidden hippies from a shack in the frozen north! Their site lets you listen, read about those rendering the tunes and even jump into the discussion. Check them out!

Thanks again for the thoughts on Daniel, they will be in the column and should be posted at hallsnews.com after Wednesday (1-11-06) evening.

FOG (just to get you to look)

Ok this was that odd night when it was warm, then the fog off the river came in, it got COLD and then the wild rain and wind bounced all over the bunker.

Just used the picture to get you to look


Deal is, I just watched the two hour NBC thing about Daniel and man oh man!

If you are a born again please do NOT light your pine knots and charge WBIR (our local NBC affiliate) OK? This thing was a giant attempt to out do HBO by the over the air networks. No joke, two hours of a cross between SIX FEET UNDER and at the very end the SOPRANOS!

Did you notice the vast amount of PSAs running inside the show? (public service announcements) tell you clients are hiding in the woods until the jury comes in!

Also did you notice the over-board family of drug/alcohol abusers, sexual preference line graying, and just a bit of alzhimers cheating to make it all fit together? Yep, this one is the FIRST move by the networks to challenge HBO and it is also a slick try at being creative and playing out of the box!

Was it any good? What do you think? No really there is a box on this blog around the pictures that lets you respond, PLEASE DO! I write a media column that you can read at hallsnews.com and brother any and all of your thoughts will be included.

Locally (Knoxville, Tennessee) we had a ton of people ready to fire bomb the local NBC affiliate over the show. They were saying it portrayed their Jesus in a dark fashion and all sponsors should be boycotted to the point where they are forsed to move into major appliance boxes near the river! What do you think?? ME? Heck, I think the Jesus they had was kind of a laid back old hip who never took a stand on much of anything. They had him as an observer wandering around behind the scenes and kind of dropping a few Dylan lines in now and then. Bless their hearts their Lord was nothing like the real deal, but their aim was more to make a show/ratings hit than a statement! Again, WHAT do you think? Send me your thoughts and I will use them when I half way review this thing next week at hallsnews.com Oh and if you have never checked out my column then dash over and take a peer. It is kind of a bore but it does keep a few dollars headed my way every week.

Sorry for the long post!

Snow/sunset

A nice black snow cloud eased toward the river to let the sun slide down tonight. COLDER than a lawyer's heart, but still a nice January evening.

Just before the storm

Couple of nights back the weather turned medieval!

First this great sunset, followed by a cold ground fog and topped of with a big thunderstorm!

Is it the end?

Should we buy canned goods, a shotgun and head for the basement?

OR WORSE, could it be a harbinger of horrid things to come? You know, like a DEMOCRAT becoming President? On your knees children!!

NEW YEARS EVE

FIRST both dawgs gathered on the upper deck and kicked back a small bowl of OUTSIDE water (it ranks right up there with UPSTAIRS toilet water) and commented on the beautiful, clear, cold sunset!

New YEARS eve

Then after the dawgs watched a real clear and cool sunset they retired inside to a big fire! Dick was back on ABC but the dawgs insisted on watching Alexander on HBO, so he was only on for a few seconds. Denver didn't want to miss one second of Brad Pitt's girlfriend fondling SNAKES!

Mother and Edith

Another shot from the day after Christmas gathering. Mother is decked out in her new Ho Ho stuff and Edith is being an outstanding friend and relative as she talks with her! Hey, if you are going to be 90 in Feb. You can also find folks to sit with you at a party!

STORM!

How odd, December and 70 bigunns this afternoon. Tonight the storm stuff started beeping on the network TV and around dark here it came! Wild wind and all sorts of stupidity normally reserved for May! Gone now and all is at rest in the Rockford Bunker!

Family 26th of Dec

On the 26th the family got together at Stephens new home in Knoxville to see his digs, tell stories and enjoy the day after the day.

First Cuz SM and Loretta listened to something from someone that I am sure was riveting!

Great dang time was had by all!!

GOLF BALL GIFT

Cause I love to hit golf balls hard as heck and when I do they often disappear either into some rich fellows back yard or the woods I buy these things call WHITE GOLF BALLS! Tonight (Christmas night) Newton (guy with the T on his shirt) gave me two doz. ULTRA golf balls! By gosh I will now leave the big birtha in the bag and use the 3 wood so they will stay in the short grass! Soon as the knees (got one in a brace and the other is now big from a fall yesterday"don't ask") are working we shall head up to laurel Valley (beautiful short track with fareways tighter than dick's hat band) and I will proceed to loose all of these great ULTRAS!.

Great Christmas dawg!

This is the puppy that made it back to TN from Arkansas! Dang thing was having a very good Ho Ho evening and got more than a few ear scratches!

Christmas night visit

HELL of a nice break from the TV and home! Hills was in from Arkansas and a great time was had by all, little too soon on the departure, but still it was a holiday get-to-gether that has been going on for decades and tonight's was great!

OK I know it is cheese

but anyone with a dig-cam has thought about it. Stick it up to a K-Mart ball on the tree and take a dang picture! Well bro, there it is!

MAN IT WAS GOOD

and then there was meat!

MERRY MOLLY!

What a great Yule!!! Lots of papers and both dogs got into the act to the point where Molly went bunker on all of us! Smart dawg!

Forrest creature likeness.....

Carved from a long dead (of natural causes) gift from Mamma Tree, the happy smiling northern endangered creature would like to wish you and yours a very merry ...................



CHRISTMAS!!!!

Soon to be re-cycled

The forrest gifts, soon to be re-cycled back to Mamma Earth, are resting above the non polluting natural heating source

Hearth prep!

The red SEASONAL flower is in place!

Ready!

The NON-DENOMINATIONAL shrub is covered in PC ornamentation!

Everything has a gender

This rabbit and this bird both have a gender, can you tell which is which?

You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender.
1) spills Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
6) A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.
7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
8) An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!

Evening visit

Mother and I dropped by Daddy's grave last night to say hello and noticed his mother and father had wreaths. Naturally we made a fast run into town, found a better looking one and put it on his grave this morning. We would have put it on last night but as you can see from the picture, night caught us.

It was SO COLD THIS MORNING...

IT WAS SO COLD THIS MORNING:
It was so cold...hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!

the squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!

Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!

we had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords

the beagles had to put jumper cables on the rabbits!

terrorists started to stockpile weapons-grade hot chocolate!

the politicians had their hands in their OWN pockets!

Pamela Anderson was downgraded from "hot" to "tepid".

we had to push the house down the street to jump-start the furnace!

everyone wanted to make antifreeze - so we hid her woolly pajamas!

a man stumbled into the coffee shop and yelled "Perk me!"

I tried to take the garbage out - but it didn't want to go!

Great wireless security system!

How To install a wireless security system:

Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair.
Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish.
Leave a note on your front door that says something like, "Bubba,big Mike and I done gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 hour.

Don't disturb the Pitbulls, they just been wormed."

CHRISTMAS IS DANG NEAR HERE

CHRISTMAS is close, the Maryville Trees are all lighted and the dogs have mailed their santa letters!

The WALL

FIFTY years ago my Daddy (in the south we call our father that even after they are 6 years gone) and I built this wall across the back of our yard. The bricks came from a building he owned downtown that was knocked down when I was but a gleam in my parent's eye. The brick has to be close to 90+ years old and not a drop of cement was used to hold it in place. The tribe that lived behind our house thought best to sell out and naturally the buyer is crowding 4 houses on the land. SO, John England and his son were hired to take down the wall and stack it close to the house. Shame to see it go, but truth is it is anything but gone, just preserved! Here is the last picture of it and the COOL thing was, John told me he had to use a tire iron to dig the foundation bricks out of the earth! Daddy flat ass put them in to stay! Naturally I had a talk with him (again a southern thing you won't understand) about taking them up and his thoughts were that taking it down was better than having some strangers cart them and sell them. Bless his heart it is sad to see it gone, but man he was so smart to bless the removal!

Denver looks to the west

Denver loves to watch the sun go down and when I told him that was the direction the Maryville High team was traveling to win the state on Saturday he really got excited!

MHS wins AGAIN, over the Memphis guys and on Friday Alcoa became a state champion. Blount County has more than a little to be excited about.


Also seeing LSU take it on the chin was just outstanding! I have no use for those people and even thought it was GA that beat them, it was just GREAT to see them GO DOWN! Time now to get ready for Coach Pearl and the NEW UT BB VOLS!