Denver LOVES CHUCK NORRIS!

Denver LOVES Chuck Norris! Here are just a few of the reasons why!

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his arse kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen. Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes. You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you. Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany. When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage. Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain. Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sex, and football-- in that order. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'." Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.