How To install a wireless security system:
Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big pair.
Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish.
Leave a note on your front door that says something like, "Bubba,big Mike and I done gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 hour.
Don't disturb the Pitbulls, they just been wormed."
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